While driving the girls to school a few days ago, a competition on the radio had the three of us in fits of laughter, well the girls more than I.
The prize, though a really good one, is irrelevant. What was funny was what the competition entailed... “What do you say now to your children that was handed down to you from your mother?”
Examples: “You think I was born yesterday?” “I have eyes at the back of my head!” or “oh please think before you speak.”
The reason why the girls became so amused is that I realised I was actually turning into my own mother!
Now, mum if you are reading this, honestly I love you very much, but I had taken an oath not to say or do some of the things you used to do or say when I was young... so you can imagine my shock at realising that I had not kept my promise to myself!
The truth is, I have come to a point in my life where I have daily revelations that I am becoming my mother that make it impossible for me to deny the transformation.
Becoming our mothers is inevitable and if you are lucky like me you have a good example to follow. And even though my mum can drive me completely nuts and seems to have a knack for pushing my buttons, I could not ask for a better mother.
The more I grow into motherhood, the more I understand my mother and the more I appreciate the qualities that she has, and which I had sworn not to take on myself as I grew up!
I am sure I am not the only one, who while talking to her children has suddenly heard her mother’s words and gasped because she could not believe what just came out of her mouth.
Take for instance when I call one of my children. I name everyone else in the house, including the dog, before eventually arriving at the right one!
I have even started storing the most miniscule pieces of leftover food in tubs and wrapped in cling film in the fridge, even though I know I’ll never use them.
And one of my worst habits I used to criticise my mother for? I find myself muttering ‘what a lot of rubbish’ when watching a TV programme or listening to the radio.
I mean honestly... but it is dawning on me that the older I get, the less I care about what others think of me. I live my life the way I want to.
According to some research we are programmed to develop through interactions with others. This is why early parental behaviour has such an impact on our psyches – parents and siblings are the main people that most infants and toddlers interact with.
This internal programming is also one of the reasons we can change over the course of our lives – interactions with friends, teachers, other relatives and lovers can all teach our brain new patterns, which can alter our relationships and our sense of self. So what makes us suddenly “regress” to behaviours that look and sound like our mothers?
According to neuroscientists, our neurons seek familiar paths, especially when in a stressful situation. Our self-image is influenced not only by our genetic connection to our mothers, but also by our emotional relationship to them as well.
Observational studies suggest that our first moments of self-awareness are experienced through seeing ourselves in the mirror of our mothers’ eyes.
These interactions contribute to the foundation of our identity and impact how we see ourselves for the rest of our lives.
Anyway my fate is sealed... I am turning into my mother. What about you? Is your fate sealed too?