A couple of weeks ago I was at a Rugby Club in the UK on a Saturday night to watch an up and coming band.
There were not too many people present as the club had been booked by a Harley Davidson group for a weekend camp.
There were tents on the pitch, lots of Harleys in the car park and right bunch of fat elderly gentlemen in the clubhouse.
They were wearing the old bikers uniform of knee-length shorts, sleeveless denim jackets with lots of badges on them, woolly beards and ponytails.
Honestly, what would you think of your grandfather if you saw him like that?
It does seem that as some people get older and are a bit more affluent, they want to indulge themselves in the things that they could not have when they were bringing up children and paying mortgages.
In that respect, I have no problem but guys if you want to buy a motorbike then buy a motorbike, not some slow fat heap of junk that can barely go faster than a car towing a caravan.
The Harley is built for cruising sedately along American highways that are straight for miles and miles and do not give you too many corners to worry about.
The twists and turns of an English country lane are not its best environment. A Japanese bike or an Italian bike or even a good old British Triumph are what you want for hanging the knee out as you flick it through the bends.
And then they go and customise them, and one aspect of this that has me baffled is the monkey hanger handlebars.
You may have seen them where the handles are about the same level as the head and some sad person is cruising down the road with his arms way above his heart thinking he is the coolest dude on the planet.
How can these guys travel for more than 10 minutes? Go on hold your arms higher than your heart for 10 minutes and you will find out what I mean. They have got to be the stupidest and most impractical enhancement you could make to a bike.
I was lucky enough to have had a bike when I was younger before the whole family bit, so I have no desire to have another one.
If I want to join up with a like-minded group of people and go off for weekend camps, then it is going to have to be a caravan or a motorhome.
What I really want though is a boat, a nice little cruiser based on some inland waterways with a spare bedroom so that we can invite along some buddies for a few days pottering, mooring up each night at a suitable hostelry and watching the world go by slowly without the need to grow a beard, ponytail or cut the sleeves of my favourite jacket.
Now, where did I leave that sports car brochure?
Jackie@JBeedie.com