You know what is the loneliest walk we take? It is entrusting our loved one to the universe in their most vulnerable moment. Walking away in such a moment is not something we do willingly but the matter may be out of our hands. As a child, I remember being terrified that my younger sister in the kindergarten block would go through the same agony of missing her family that I had suffered at her age. Focussing on my third-grade lessons seemed a cop-out and every recess I would race through the corridors to be with her.
Similarly, parents and siblings of children and adults with special needs, whether physical or mental, are often beset with anxiety about how the person will manage after their time.
Even with the best of intentions, we all have our own lives to lead and 99 per cent of the time we turn away from the extra effort needed to engage continuously with people with special needs.
That leaves them exposed to circumstances and challenges that may not support them and cut their ability to deliver their best. At worst, it may undermine their confidence or even worsen their condition.
May is marked globally as Mental Health Awareness month but I saw very few activities to drive up awareness.
Think of the diverse activities undertaken for other causes – breast cancer, global environmental awareness, they all merit an explosion of motorcycle parades, Earth Hour switch-offs and drawing contests to drive home the message. But for mental health, we have had just a few muffled whispers.
One group conducted a talk on breaking the stigma about mental health and what struck me was that it was attended by adults in their 50-plus.
It is telling that this occurred in the same week when a local school student was driven to attempt suicide and the school admin offered counselling to fellow-students facing the trauma.
Let’s get this straight: mental health is no respecter of age and according to psychiatric experts, even children as young as eight and nine are reporting depressed mental state or other conditions.
It has to do with how our children are more exposed to peer pressure and bullying via social media and how, we too unknowingly add to the pressure with our expectations.
The worrying thing is that parents, teachers and other caregivers simply do not want to address the issue of mental health in young people unless it is an emergency.
They shut their ears and eyes to any attempt to alert them to signs that they should be aware of which can pinpoint mental health crises in children and teens and forbid talk about any mental problem.
The attitude percolates to the youngsters who then believe that they or their friend who is clearly in need of help, is somehow in the wrong.
After years of campaigning, physical disabilities are accepted with far more willingness than mental issues.
True, there still is a long way to go to level the playing field but it hurts that we have not even begun the mammoth task of loosening the gag order on mental crises. Just because its invisible does not mean it hurts less.
Sit down with your family today.
You don’t need to be the expert. Just let them all know that they can lean on you and mental health problems can be resolved.
meeraresponse@gmail.com
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