My column last fortnight about the expectations of returning expats seamlessly taking on family responsibilities which they are seen to have ‘escaped’ during their time abroad, struck a powerful chord and many people responded with confirmation of similar experiences. Not surprisingly, former expats who have returned to India or otherwise moved on, had a different take, now that the immediate difficulties were behind them and there was a lot of virtue-signalling about the need to take care of aged parents.
Last night though, through a casual phone call, I stumbled upon a completely different situation, one that at once exposes the grey underbelly of the re-pat life and how we all can reach out and connect with people and make a difference even though we are physically miles away. The call was to P V Radhakrishnan and I reached him in Kerala where he is organising the third edition of a meeting of more than 1,000 former Bahrain residents. While the original purpose was different, I was soon drawn into the reason for his Kerala visit and how relations forged under Bahrain skies are being nurtured, still kept relevant and used to support many a former expat who has fallen on hard times.
I do know that former Bahrain residents keep in touch – have done so even before social media and the Internet made life an ongoing video-call. In 1996, during a visit to Canada, we were invited to dinner by a former Bahrain friend. To our surprise, the door opened on at least 10 more friends from here, all connected by an informal network of former Bahrainwallahs. Similarly, there are groups even in nearby GCC countries such as Dubai. But the scale of the Bahrain-Kerala operation is something else.
Most of the people who unfailingly attend these get-togethers are in their mid-seventies and upward, having retired from the kingdom to re-settle in Kerala. This is a sort of lifeline for them, an affirmation that the years they spent in Bahrain are still relevant and not just a boring anecdote for younger people. Clearly it is meaningful because it inspires more than one thousand of them to set aside their daily life and travel considerable distance to spend a day or so with friends from a former home. And not all of them are people who held senior positions – many were apparently shop assistants, semi-skilled workers and middle-management workers, linked by their state of origin (Kerala) and Bahrain.
Amidst the laughter and colour of the reunion there are stories of resilience, loss, courage and sorrow ... of fortunes and families lost in the process of picking up the threads of life in India again. What is commendable is that people like Radhakrishnan and like-minded charitable friends have created a safety network for those who have lost homes and who face life-threatening situations, helping out with donations and even, in some cases, building small homes for them to securely spend their last days.
And so, a shining truth emerges. Behind the hustle of the grand festivals and cultural shows that clubs in Bahrain celebrate, is a sense of deep purpose. It is not just about fun and food – it is about building bonds of friendship which endure long after we return home and comes to support us when we need a steadying hand.
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