Every time we talk about gender in the workplace, the conversation follows a familiar path. We speak about women’s barriers, women’s confidence, women’s advancement and women’s representation. These conversations are necessary and long overdue.
Yet recently, through my work, I have found myself asking a different question: What about the men who are living through this change alongside women?
This question is not about shifting focus away from women, nor is it about minimising their struggles. It is about understanding the other half of the equation. Because workplaces do not change in isolation. They change through people. And people carry emotions, identities and pressures that rarely make it into policy documents or leadership speeches.
Over the past months, I have had dozens of conversations with men across different roles: CEOs, managers, employees, fathers, husbands and young professionals. What struck me was not resistance, but confusion. Not opposition, but pressure. Many men genuinely believe in women’s capabilities. They want their daughters to succeed, their wives to grow and their colleagues to lead. Yet at the same time, they are quietly navigating an internal struggle that few acknowledge.
Men in our region grow up with very clear expectations. They are taught to provide, to protect, to lead and to hold responsibility, often without complaint. Their sense of worth is closely tied to these roles. When women rise professionally, those roles do not disappear, but they do change. And change, when it happens faster than identity can adapt, creates discomfort.
What often looks like hesitation is actually uncertainty. What appears as control is often fear of social judgement. What feels like resistance may simply be a man asking himself, silently, where he fits now. One of the most overlooked realities in the workplace is that men are rarely given space to talk about this. They are expected to adapt without expression. To support without hesitation. To understand without guidance. And to remain confident while everything they were taught about leadership and provision is being redefined.
This silence comes at a cost. When men do not feel safe to articulate their fears, those fears surface indirectly. Through overprotection, withdrawal, defensiveness or quiet resentment. None of which serve women, men or organisations.
There is another layer that complicates this further. Many men equate love with protection. They genuinely believe they are caring when they impose limits. Women, understandably, experience those limits as restriction. This emotional mismatch sits at the heart of many workplace and family tensions. Both sides feel misunderstood, and neither feels truly heard. The irony is that the same men who struggle internally are often the ones who benefit most from women’s leadership. They acknowledge women’s emotional intelligence, collaboration and resilience. They see the value women bring to teams. Yet they are still reconciling that reality with inherited beliefs about masculinity and responsibility.
If we want genuine progress in the workplace, we need to expand the conversation. Empowering women cannot be a solo journey. Men must be included, not as obstacles, but as partners navigating change. That means creating spaces where men can speak honestly, where their fears are not dismissed and where their identities are allowed to evolve without shame. This does not mean excusing unfair behaviour or lowering expectations.
It means recognising that sustainable change requires empathy on both sides. When women understand the pressures men carry, and when men feel supported rather than threatened, workplaces become healthier, more balanced and more human.
We have spent years asking women to be braver, louder and more confident. Perhaps it is time we also ask a different question: how do we help men feel secure enough to evolve alongside them?
And as always, the real question is not whether workplaces are changing. They are.
The question is whether we are changing together?
Join us next month for another edition of Workplace Watch, where we’ll explore more trends shaping the future of work. Until then, keep growing, keep learning, and keep pushing the boundaries of what’s possible.
Amal Kooheji is a growth advocate
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