Heartbroken women in the kingdom, who have experienced the trauma of losing a spouse, have highlighted the importance of being both mentally and financially prepared for tragedy, as they mark International Widows’ Day today.
Timely steps like hiring a lawyer and drafting a will when both partners are healthy can save the ordeal of a long-term fight for basic rights and dignity, which is what the global observance seeks to raise awareness about – poverty, violence and social stigmatisation faced by widows and their dependents.
According to the United Nations, despite the fact that there are more than 258 million widows around the world, they have historically been left unseen, unsupported and unmeasured in many societies.
“There are many legalities in Bahrain and, sometimes, if you do not have the right documentation, the bank could lock your accounts for safety reasons,” Bulgarian expatriate Svetlana Prodanova, who lost her husband six years ago, told the GDN. “It is best to get the paperwork done when both partners are alive and hearty,” added the photographer and creative entrepreneur from Muharraq.
Ms Prodanova highlighted that her beloved husband Geg Hopkins was also her business partner and so, when he passed away due to brain cancer, their joint accounts were frozen. Luckily, she was financially independent. Though she could not access their joint funds, fortunately her day-to-day financial needs were already taken care of.
Mr Hopkins was a charasmatic British-Bahraini broadcaster who worked with the Information Ministry, and was a popular presenter on local media platforms. He died aged 69, four months after suffering a seizure while on a work trip.
“We were in London when he passed away and this was during the Covid-19 pandemic. The Bahrain Embassy in London was very helpful and advised I return to the kingdom as flights later became unavailable. Amid all the chaos, the emotional pain was unbearable and difficult to navigate,” Ms Prodanova recounted.
She highlighted the importance of family and friends holding space and being present, especially during the initial phase, instead of sharing clichéd messages like ‘rest in peace’ or giving unsolicited advice.
“Just say ‘I am here for you’ and then actually be there. Listen to the person as they share with you. I have a friend who did this for me and I am so grateful to her,” added the 58-year-old, who still does not ‘feel like herself’.
Licensed clinical psychologist Anisha Abraham pointed out that grief is a natural response and that there is no right way to process it. She added that navigating grief is never a linear process.
“When you lose a spouse, you experience grief but you may also have ongoing responsibilities towards children, sorting out finances and other household tasks. It is important to focus on the immediate priorities, accept support that comes your way and try to be realistic with your expectations of yourself,” the expert advised.
It is not only widows who face challenges, widowers also face many hurdles to get over the hurt.
Dr Abraham specifically noted that men encountered many barriers because societal norms often discourage emotional expression and vulnerability. She further highlighted that it is important to talk about the loss, even with children, and teach them healthy ways to cope.
Children were a major source of motivation for 52-year-old Marites de la Cruz Ricafranca, who decided to move to Bahrain two years ago, after she lost her husband, Ferdinand, to cancer on her birthday in September 2019. She presently works as a cashier at a café.
“Leaving my children to work abroad was the most painful decision I have ever made but I knew I had to secure their future and their education. I had to choose strength, not just for myself but to be the steady hand they needed as they navigated their own loss,” explained the Filipino expatriate from Gudaibiya, whose children are now aged 20, 19, 18 and 16.
“Being a single mother has taught me the depth of my own resilience. I lean heavily on my faith, trusting that even in the quietest, hardest moments, we are being carried by God,” she added.
Having dependent children in the picture makes financial preparedness even more crucial. In the kingdom, there are charitable organisations and groups that support widows and orphans, helping Bahrainis live lives of dignity after loss. Among them is the Royal Humanitarian Foundation, which currently supports nearly 32,000 orphans and widows across the kingdom.
The GDN previously reported about RHF’s e-service, in co-operation with the Information and eGovernment Authority, to sponsor Bahraini widows and orphans. It is available via the national portal, bahrain.bh. Even expatriate widows who are married to Bahraini citizens and currently residing in the kingdom are eligible to apply, provided they meet specific living and income criteria.
melissa@gdnmedia.bh
Helpful tips to navigate the death of a spouse:
- Be compassionate with yourself – there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
- Focus on the immediate priorities and accept support that comes your way.
- Establish a professional support network to organise documents, understand joint finances and survivor benefits and review insurance policies.
- Seek support groups – online or in-person – as sharing your grief with those going through the same experience helps.
How to support those who have lost their spouse:
- Assure them you are there for them from time to time.
- Actually be present in anyway you can – bring them food or listen to them when they need to share their feelings.
- Avoid giving unsolicited advice or comparing their experience to someone else’s.
- Do not hesitate to celebrate the life of their spouse by recounting happy memories during conversation or bringing up what you most loved about them.
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